Cold-Blooded Software (2023)

Summary

December 28, 2023 It’s 2004 and I’m sitting in one of the largest lecture halls at my university. I’m a computer science major but I’m taking a course on natural history — plants and animals — as one of my electives. The professor tells us that he’s brought something from home, something he found in his freezer. He reaches down behind his desk, and then holds his arm out to show us what’s sitting in his palm: a baby painted turtle. We’re learning about cold-blooded animals, and it turns out that painted turtle hatchlings are pretty special — they’re one of only a few species that can survive being frozen. Now, the lecture hall is pretty modern for 2004: there’s an overhead camera at the podium, where the professor can write notes that are displayed on screens around the hall. But instead of writing notes, he puts the turtle under the camera and starts his lecture. Over the next hour, we watch this little reptile slowly come to life as the professor lectures. The first movements were nearly imperceptible. An eyelid cracking open, a leg inching forward. By the end of the lecture, the turtle has moved about halfway across our screens. I’ll never forget that class, because it’s where I really understood what it means for an animal to be cold blooded. You see, warm-blooded animals — like humans or mice — have a stable body temperature that stays within a pretty narrow range. For humans, it’s around 37 degrees Celsius. A few degrees higher or lower and we’re in big trouble. Cold-blooded animals like the painted turtle can adapt their metabolism to the temperature around them. They’re active when it’s warm out, and as the environment (and their bodies) get cooler, they move more slowly. Very few of them can survive being frozen like the baby painted turtle can. I see a similar dichotomy with software projects. Certain technology decisions lead to projects that are warm-blooded: everything is great when there’s constant motion on the project, generating heat. But put warm-b...