The Jeff Dean Facts

Summary

The Jeff Dean Facts About This Repo The "Jeff Dean facts" are a set of jokes that revolve around the extraordinary programming prowess of their titular Google employee. Simply put, they are the coding equivalent of Chuck Norris-style jokes (for example, "Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door"). I first encountered the Facts on a random Quora page, though as of recently many of them appear to have been removed. Thus, in order to preserve this invaluable cache of programmer humor for posterity, I decided to create this repository. It is a combined list of various versions of the Facts, beginning with a text file that I copied from the Quora post sometime in 2019, when the original answer still existed. It's been expanded from other sources, which are listed (and linked, if possible) at the end of this document. And now, without further ado... The Facts Jeff Dean proved that P=NP when he solved all NP problems in polynomial time on a whiteboard. Jeff Dean's PIN is the last 4 digits of pi. When Jeff gives a seminar at Stanford, it's so crowded Don Knuth has to sit on the floor. ( TRUE ) ) Jeff Dean once bit a spider, the spider got super powers and C++ readability. Once, in early 2002, when the index servers went down, Jeff Dean answered user queries manually for two hours. Evals showed a quality improvement of 5 points. Jeff Dean got promoted to level 11 in a system where max level is 10. ( TRUE ) ) Google Search was Jeff Dean's Noogler Project. Jeff Dean has punch card readability. Jeff Dean puts his pants on one leg at a time, but if he had more than two legs, you would see that his approach is actually O(log n) . . Jeff Dean acquired Sawzall readability after writing 58 lines of Sawzall code. As part of his readability review, he pointed out a flaw in the style guide which was promptly corrected by the reviewer. Sanjay once asked Jeff Dean if he could keep the entire web in his memory. Due to the noise from his keyboard cooling fan, Jeff Dean misheard slightly and ...