Zuck#: A programming language for connecting the world. And harvesting it

Summary

This language collects exactly as much of your data as we legally can. By reading this, you agree to our . We're tracking: your mouse movements "Senator, we run ads. Also, we run this programming language now." Z# What is Zuck#? Zuck# is a PHP-inspired esoteric programming language that captures the true essence of moving fast and breaking things. Every keyword has been carefully designed to reflect the values of modern social media: privacy invasion, congressional hearings, and pivoting to whatever's trending. STEAL_DATA $your_secrets = "everything"; STEAL_DATA $engagement = 9001; SENATOR_WE_RUN_ADS "Harvested: " . $your_secrets . "\n"; PIVOT_TO_VIDEO ($engagement > 0) { SENATOR_WE_RUN_ADS "Your attention has been monetized!\n"; SENATOR_WE_RUN_ADS "Engagement level: MAXIMUM\n"; } PIVOT_TO_METAVERSE { SENATOR_WE_RUN_ADS "Time to rebrand!\n"; } END_PIVOT Why Zuck#? Move Fast Our MOVE_FAST loops execute before you can say "congressional subpoena". Break Things Every loop ends with BREAK_THINGS. It's not a bug, it's company culture. Data Harvesting Built-In Variable assignment is called STEAL_DATA. We believe in transparency about our intentions. Enterprise-Grade Excuses Error handling uses BLAME_RUSSIA and TAKE_RESPONSIBILITY (but not really). Unlimited Memory We have data centers. Memory is unlimited. Just like your scroll time should be. 100% Human-Written This language was created by humans. We are definitely humans. *blinks manually* Installation PHP Requires PHP 8.1+ Because we need the latest features to harvest your data efficiently. git Clone from GitHub The classic approach AVAILABLE composer Composer Global composer global require SOON docker Docker Containerized harvesting AVAILABLE git clone https://github.com/jayzalowitz/zucksharp.git cd zucksharp chmod +x bin/zuck ./bin/zuck examples/hello.zuck ./bin/zuck ./bin/zuck --debug examples/fizzbuzz.zuck Docker Installation Prefer containers? We've got you covered. Your data stays isolated... sort of. docker bui...