Social Dynamics at Arm's Length

Summary

Social Dynamics at Arm's Length 18 Nov, 2025 One authentic relating game I enjoy running is "Constellations". The rules are simple: someone calls out a prompt, everyone in the room identifies the person for whom this prompt fits the best, and then places a hand on that person's shoulder. You can only put your hands on one person, and that one person can be yourself. If you want to abstain, you can put your hands behind your head; this means that you are not picking anyone, and also that you cannot be picked. Generally, the lead facilitator gives a few example prompts, and then opens it up to the floor (though the facilitator should still give prompts afterwards, up to one third of them). Some example prompts: The person you feel most connected with The person you think was most popular in high school The person you think is the best writer (great opener if you're running it at a writing retreat) Someone you'd like to get a beer with (the prompts don't have to be in a "most x" format, it's fine if there are several viable contenders for each participant) I like this game because the rules are very straightforward, it checks a few different AR boxes (physical touch, edgy social dynamics since some people won't be picked, group participation, encouraging embodiment), and you as the facilitator can easily modulate how edgy the game is. You can continue on with surface-level prompts like the above for a long time: the person you trust the most, a person you want to get to know better, the person you've known longest, and so on and so on. You can play this game at corporate retreats, if you stay here. Approaching the edgeConstellations can get a little edgier, with prompts like: The person you think was sad the most recently The person you think has the highest body count The person you think is hottest The person you think is the least like you It is very often up to the facilitator to increase the amount of edginess. This is because it's very scary as a participant to t...